Friday, March 6, 2009
Well it has been a while since I have updated my blog, so let me give you a quick update without going into a lot of detail because I have a lot I want to share but want to keep it short. After the fall semester in Auburn, I decided to come back home to be with my family with intentions of finishing up at Belmont University. I think that my college route might take another swing starting in the fall or next spring. I am currently in the process of looking into a couple bible schools to finish up my undergraduate work in Biblical Studies. I am taking online classes this semester while working a good amount of hours at the Fresh Market. Now that you have a short snippet of where I am at lets get into the meat of what I want to share for this article….
The last couple months of my life have been the hardest for me personally that I can remember. I came to Nashville thinking I am going to embark on a new journey where I am most comfortable being with my family. Little did I know I was really being stripped of everything that was comfortable to me at this moment in my life. All of you, who know me, know that I live for meeting and embracing people in their walk of life wherever they are at. Some may say to me that I am the type of person to never meet a stranger. Well I noticed that when I moved up here and all my close friends went back to school in January this gloom of loneliness fell right before my eyes. I could connect with some on skype or facebook or even a cell phone but that was not fulfilling my wants to be with people. I could go to work and deal with hundreds of customers a day but that was not even fulfilling the need. It might of given a quick shot but as soon as I got home by myself reality began to sit in. I found myself turning away from whom I truly was. I began to lose my zeal for life. Although on the outside I would tell people I was doing great but their was a raging war going on inside of me telling me to give up. It wasn’t until I finally realized that God was teaching me something by this that I could embrace the reality of the state of mind I was in. God brought me to Nashville to take me away from my comfort zone of life so I would grow in Him away from the distractions. While at Auburn in the latter stages of my time their, I began to find my identity in my friends instead of Christ alone. I found myself wanting to spend more and more time doing the fun stuff with my closest friends than dedicating some time to be alone with God. It was as if I was living a life that I wanted my friends and God to be at the top of my list but share that number one spot. It wasn’t until I moved up here that God was stripping the friends off of that number one spot so He would be the only one I find my identity in. Although I may still be walking in the desert and will be for a while I am finding my trust in an old wooden cross that provides strength for me daily. It’s in the midst of all the brokenness in my life that I am finding comfort in the healer of that pain.
The night I embraced the reality of walking in the desert has been the best thing to happen to me, I decided to let God have all of me with no distractions. I wanted to have a Yes attitude towards the Lords will for my life. No matter what I am put through I want to maintain that attitude. I happened to stumble across 2 Corinthians 1:19-20 which reads, “For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you, Silvanus and Timothy and I, was not Yes and No, but in him it is always Yes. For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.” That was it for me. That is right where I am. I want everyday I am alive to shout that bold YES towards God. I put the picture of White Sands National Park on this blog portraying the majesty of God in the distance with the desert in front of it. I would like that picture to accurately display where I am right now: In the desert saying yes to the Lord with my eyes-only being focused on the beauty of his light.
Who are the people that you know in your life that have made a life saying yes to anything the Lord calls them to? For me, I start with my own father. Saying yes to the call to ministry as a young boy and never doubting his call to serve. Then from there I think of Jim Cymbala, pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle, who started a church in Brooklyn, NY and pastors needy people week after week. I then think of a guy like Francis who is the father figure for nearly 200 orphans in Bethany’s Village in Ggaba, Uganda. Francis is in his later 20’s in a wheel chair due to polio at a young age but provides comfort to hurting children daily no matter what his physical problems are. I then think of Jason Swain (my youth pastor) and his passion for providing hope to people wherever he is. After God took Jason’s little girl at the age of 2 months he continues to serve the Lord daily. Lastly, I think of Matt Dean and by him saying Yes to the Lord to move to Hong Kong to provide hope for the hopeless over there. I pray that God will continue to bless these men that have had an influence on my life. As I conclude this blog I want you to evaluate what it means to say yes to what the Lord desires out of you? The Lord has been so good to me. He has blessed me with people that have poured so much life into me. Some of you may never know the impact you have left on my life but I want to say thank you. May God continue to bless you. Continue to keep me in your prayers.
Living for the King.